What It Means to Be a Human Therapist
When people think of therapists, they often picture someone endlessly calm, endlessly wise, and somehow… above the messiness of being human. A blank slate. A guru. A mystical cross between Oprah and a Magic 8 Ball.
But here’s the truth: therapists are human, too.
We have our own lives, our own histories, and yes—even our own reactions in the therapy room. We’re not machines spitting out flawless advice, and we certainly don’t have access to a crystal ball. We feel. We judge. We carry past experiences that shape us, just like everyone else.
So what does it actually mean to be a human therapist?
1. We Have Personal Reactions and Professional Training
Sometimes in sessions, I’ll say something like,
“There are a few different perspectives we could take here… Hannah’s automatic reaction was this… but Dr. Paull wants to share this…”
It’s my way of highlighting that I’m responding to you both as a person and as a professional. It’s not about blurring boundaries—it’s about being transparent and grounded. Therapy isn’t about pretending to be a blank wall. It’s about being present, and part of that presence includes honest awareness of the lens I bring to the work.
2. We’re Taught to Know Ourselves—So We Don’t Get in the Way
Let’s be clear: being human doesn’t give therapists a free pass to project our stuff all over the place. (Yikes.)
We’re trained—intensively—to recognize how our own stories, assumptions, and biases might show up in the room. And we’re held ethically responsible to make sure our humanity helps, not harms, the work we do together.
For example:
If I sense I might have a bias that’s present but fuzzy, I’ll say so. Something like,
“I may have a bias here that I’m not totally aware of in this moment… with that in mind, I want us to consider…”
If I am aware of a bias and I don’t want it influencing the space, I’ll stick closely to you—your values, your lens, your way of understanding the situation.
That’s part of the job. Not just knowing myself—but also knowing when to set myself aside.
3. We Don’t Always Have the Answers (And That’s a Good Thing)
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear is that therapists are supposed to have it all figured out. Like we’re sitting there holding the master blueprint to your life, just waiting for the right moment to unveil it.
That’s not how therapy works.
We don’t have “the answer.” And honestly, if a therapist ever tells you they do, you might want to run.
What we do have is a deep understanding of human psychology, behavior patterns, emotion regulation, relational dynamics, and more—and we use all of that to help you explore, clarify, challenge, and grow. But the goal isn’t for us to tell you what to do. It’s to walk alongside you while you discover what matters to you.
So… Why Does This Matter?
Because the therapeutic relationship works best when it’s real. When you’re not idealizing your therapist, and when your therapist isn’t pretending to be superhuman.
It matters because a good therapist isn’t perfect—they’re self-aware. They’re willing to own their humanity, while being rigorously committed to using it wisely.
If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s okay that your therapist is a little more human than you expected… the answer is yes. In fact, it might just be what makes them good at what they do.
And if you’re looking for someone who’s honest, grounded, and real—and also happens to be a well-trained professional—reach out. Finding the right fit in a therapist makes all the difference.